the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize