It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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