Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
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