You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
