you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Randomize
