he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
