The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
My vagina just recognized that song.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
