Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
