erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
