Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
