i jhust puked up my retainher.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
