I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
false alarm, still single
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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