I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
