Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
