We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
