then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
