apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I will pee on everything he values.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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