My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
