He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
