no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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