she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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