We need to rekindle our bromance
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
