Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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