I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
