arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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