I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
