So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
