Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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