garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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