just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize