if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
