but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
