i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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