walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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