Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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