Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
