Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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