I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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