I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
