what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize