we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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