He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
