seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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