so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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