yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Randomize