Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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