After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
