he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
