who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
