Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
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