What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Randomize
