my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
