Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
