I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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