we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
