i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Alive.
So much puke
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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