Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Randomize
